What moves you?

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3v16: one of the most quoted scriptures in the Bible. I can gurantee that nearly 100% of Christians will have read that passage, and studied it indepth at some point or another. Even before I became a Christian, I could recite this off by heart and know whereabouts in the Bible it came from. But in my opinion, the amount of attention this scripture has garnered has meant that we have become somewhat anaesthetised to what is meant to bring us into an overwhelming sense of action. Have you ever seen, experienced, or heard of something that has literally moved you out of complacency and into action? I’m talking about things like giving to charity, buying a poppy in November or running the race for life. All brilliant acts of aid that do not go unnoticed. But what I’m really getting at is: how often are we reminded that Jesus died for us, and yet we continue day-to-day life as if this were not true?

Jesus died so that we may live in the fullness of life. Though that necessarily does not mean that we will live without suffering, God’s intention for us is to fulfill a purpose; a specific design of purpose that He has created us especially for. That, of course, is love. I literally love so many things that I cannot even remember them all at once. I love my mum, my friends, my home, going to Ireland each Summer, finding money on the floor, hot chocolate at Christmas time. I could sit here forever and reel off absolutley everything. But the thing that I love most (after God) is love. As His creations, God has knit us together with the desire to love and to be loved. Love is what moves us out of our comfort zones and into action. And out of love, Jesus died on a cross for me and you.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will able to seperate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:37-39

Also a very well-known scripture; but it’s important to remind ourselves of this. There is literally nothing that can seperate me and you from love. So what I’m asking is, if we have access to a neverending source of love, what’s stopping us from letting other people in on it too? Complacency? Laziness? Whatever the reason, love obtains far more power than the things that stop you from being the embodiment of that love God has specifically called you to be.

Are you satisfied with the world in its current condition? Are you okay with the extent of the poverty (spiritual and financial) that millions are living in all over the world; even with some of them in your own country? I know that’s a pretty cut-throat question, and I’ve spared no time faffing around getting to my point. But seriously, are you happy with the world the way it is? I see so many things in the media that just horrifies me about what’s going on across the globe. And yet though I’m horrified, and sometimes brought to tears, I look at my life and am disappointed at the lack of effort I put in to make way for change. I will give a homeless person some money to buy food, but I will not sit with them and tell them about Jesus. Why is that? It seems to me that I have clearly misunderstood Jesus’ crucifixion and my purpose here on Earth. I am willing to aid the homeless person’s symptom of financial poverty by giving him a few quid, but I am not willing to get to the root of it all. Jesus definitely would not have just thrown money at a situation like that.

But the upside to this is, change does not have to wait until tomorrow. The act of change can begin at any given moment. It just takes a person who knows love well enough that it moves them into a place where they cannot wait for others to act first; they have to act themselves.

Thank you so much for reading this!! This has been on my heart for the past few days now and it came to a head this evening and I just had to write a blog about it! God bless you all. :) XX

In training…

Wow, I almost can’t believe how the months have literally flown by without me updating you all.  This is so so sooooo more than overdue. I’m so sorry! But, I can’t tell you how good it feels to be sat here with a few things in mind to share with you guys. I’ve missed this so much!! Truthfully and honestly, it’s wonderful to do what I love to do :)

University life is still treating me well, which I continue to be thankful for each day :) My course continues to be mentally and physically painful! But I am absolutley 100% certain that English is what I am meant to pursue and succeed in. Not everybody can say that they love their job and wouldn’t change it for the world. But by the time I have a career, I want those to be my exact sentiments. But even with the mental taxation of everything work related, the circumstances that God has housed me under have made being a student so much easier.

“I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with jewels. For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign Lord willl make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.” ~ Isaiah 61:10-11

It just blows my mind to read that scripture. I just don’t know what to feel in response to it. It amazes me the kind of language that is used for a start. I know you’re all probably thinking that this is the typical English student coming out in me, but seriously, even the word adorn just makes me silent. I always used to think that adorn meant to just wear, but by dictionary definition, it means to ‘make more beautiful or attractive’ So to me this passage is saying that God adorns us in righteousness and salvation. Isn’t that incredible!?! I just cannot comprehend it fully. Though I have made unwise decisions, I have wandered astray and my mistakes are innumerable, God still believes in me to be this beautifully righteous person? Wow. I need to take time to let that sink in.

This has just made me realise how important it is to not put my identity into the things or people around me, and to seek my identity in God. It’s so easy to say that, but I know for myself that it’s so difficult to put into practice. I have struggled for so long with identity. For years I have let my identity be shaped by the kind of music I’m into, what clothes I wear or how well I do in exams. It’s only over these past few months however, that I have realised that though there is nothing wrong with listening to music, buying nice clothes or doing well in education, it is not where my identity comes from and it is certainly not what I want to be remembered for either. Now, this is what I want to be remembered for:

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” ~ Proverbs 31:29-31

Thank you guys for taking the time to read. This one’s been fairly short but sweet! I really needed to share this stuff with you though. I pray that the next time I blog will not be too far in the future. God bless :) X

P.s. – been diggin this song a lot!!! Never abused the repeat button as much. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGgX_oqdib4 

Guilt isn’t good.

Good afternoooon my wonderful friends. :) It shocks me to see that I’ve neglected this blog for over 2 weeks now. I would really like to say I’ve just been so busy, too busy infact, to update you all on how and what I’m doing here in London. But in reality, I’ve completely forgotten about it. My bad! But, whilst I have a whole day free from chores and work [kind of..], I want to keep you all up to speed with everything that Jesus is doing in my life. Which is a hefty amount of stuff, fyi.

Before that though, I just want to ramble a little about about some cool stuff that I’ve gotten to do in the past few weeks! As much as I miss the beautifulness of Glossop, and it really is beautiful, I absolutley love the opportunities living so close to Central London can give. Not only am I seeing more of the country, but London itself is just really cool!! There are so many awesome things to go and see that you just wouldn’t find in Manchester. Some of the city’s architecture and historical sites are just sooooo beautiful and big! It sometimes makes me feel like I’m in a film lol.

behold Marble Arch; no idea what it's there for or stands for, but it looks pretty cool.

I’ve even got to go to Oxford Street [which for you Londoners reading this won't be that special..] which is, according to my flatmate; “The place to be Claire, it’s actually the place to be!!” All it really is is the hugest, most gignormous road of shops you’ve ever seen, including Harrods, Hamleys and some shops I’ve never heard of before moving here like Pull & Bear, Forever21 etc… Getting down that road is an accomplishment in its own right, I’m telling you. It’s also been an absolute learning curve remembering how to use the London Underground again. For anyone that’s used it before, I’m sure you can probably appreciate where I’m coming from when I say it’s a great system, but also ridiculously scary/confusing/frustrating to use when you don’t know what you’re doing. Other than that though I’ve more or less been chugging along; getting to know and love my flatmates more and meeting more new people in the process. So now, on to more serious things… *light dim and smoke machines*

Since I’ve been here, I’ve been having all sorts of mini-revelations. A lot of these revelations have been to do with myself, and what I need to change or, conversely, accept about myself in order for me to grow and further establish my identity in God. Other times though, God has really burdened me with the conviction to pray for the people around me, and revealed to me why this is necessary. I’ve spoken to a couple of you about this who read my blog, and you know how exciting, but scary that was for me at first. I still feel excited and scared in equal measure, but what I’m coming to realise now is what an honour it is for the King of Heaven and Earth to trust me with quite emotionally and spiritually deep stuff about people that I have only known for just over 5 weeks. It really does blow my mind… [Testimony time] During the first few weeks of settling in at Brunel I was pretty preoccupied with settling in, making friends and getting to grips with my course. So given that, I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t having as much of the quiet time with Jesus that I really love to have. I wasn’t enjoying the Christian Union, although I’d met some really lovely people there by this point. And I was feeling sad that I wasn’t going from glory to glory. All of which I felt extremely guilty for, and really beat myself up about. I had to question myself at this point though;  is there ever a time where guiltyness is okay? My only response was no. No, that’s never okay. Guiltyness is a barrier that physically, emotionally and spiritually stops you from possessing the treasures He has saved for you specifically. Often I kid myself that feeling guilty is feeling convicted. If the reason I am doing this, that or the other is because I’d feel terrible if I didn’t, and I don’t want other people to think there’s something wrong, then that is not conviction. Not in my eyes… So back to my original point, this feeling of guiltyness led me to believe that I was just not in a great position to be accountable to prayer for these people that God had laid on my heart. Now I realise that that is an absolutle lie. 

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” ~ Philippians 4:13

Anyone remember that? Of course you do, because it’s one of the most talked about scriptures in the Bible! But how often do we read AND believe with the fullness of our faith that that is true? I hold my hands up that I’ve often read that scripture and thought; “Yeah, that’s true for some people, like the great characters in the Bible. But not for me. I couldn’t do everything.” But the fact is, I can. You can. We all can. Because we all have the authority to do such things. We musn’t let our ‘clutter’ get in the way of believing this, and then acting upon it. Whether that’s guiltyness, or the accumulation of our circumstances that has led us to a place where we ultimately do not feel worthy enough to intercede for other people, heal the sick, mend the broken and all that other really great stuff God wants us to do!! God’s house is not a court of law.

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus” ~ Romans 8:1

For one of my Units whilst I was studying A-Level Sociology, I had to learn all about crime & deviance. Within the Unit I learnt about how a criminal gains a ‘master status’. A master status is basically the most important, or prominent label a person has. For example, I am a student, a daughter, a friend… but my master status is that I am a daughter of the Almighty King. Understanding so far? The master status of a guy who goes to prison for robbing a bank however, will always be a convict. This then affects everything post-prison life. No employer will hire him, and all of his other labels [i.e. dad, son, brother, friend] won’t be as important in the eyes of society. But, and this is a big but people, this is not how the Kingdom of Heaven operates! We are covered, saturated infact, in His mercy and grace. This makes it absolutley impossible for Him not to forgive our sins and our wrongdoings. We serve a redeemer; it’s totally in His nature to forgive!!  

Thanks for reading this guys. It’s an absolute pleasure to be able to update you all about my life here and what I’m doing and I pray that by the next time I get back to you all I’ll have even more stories to tell. :-) God bless you guys! XX

 

 

London living: part II

My blog post comes with a caution this week guys: the reader may risk their eyes falling out with the amount of information I am about to provide. You have been warned. Firstly, as always, I want to let everyone back home know how much I miss you!! Though I feel like I’m almost fully settled in at this point, there is so much I’m missing and looking forward to returning to in the first week of November. Let’s be honest, Northern tap water has to be up there on that list. I’m not saying this has priority over all your beautiful faces, but I can’t explain the disappointment I feel every time I drink a glass of water down here. It’s really terrible. But even though the South-East does lack a little in some areas, I have to admit that I’m really loving it here. The whole settling in, finding friends, and re-adjusting to schooling again process has generally been an easy-ish transition.  I am so thankful for this!! Moving to the opposite end of the country was a daunting thought only just over 3 weeks ago. Now I’m living in what God intended for me down here it doesn’t feel anywhere near as scary. It’s still been a big move, and there are challenges that I’ve faced and continue to face, but God has eased me into this new environment and soothed me. Kind of like putting a hyperactive child to bed!! Living in close proximity with a big mix of people continues to be a learning curve also. It’s weird how we (or I do at least) get into a routine of knowing how to work around other people in the house, and learn what we can do and can’t do and that becomes normality. Here, I’ve had to re-jiggle everything I think is normal and really put my bad habits into check lol! Luckily, we have a good mix of people here in flat 42 who accept my occasional bouts of scruffiness and general untidy tendencies which makes for such a good atmosphere! Even though there’s not much that’s homely about living in halls, being surrounded by people is something that I’m loving a lot. Although, at 3/4am it’s not great when people are straggling in from their night’s out and bringing the noise with them!! Fortunately, that’s not all the time. Thank the Lord that my flatmates are like me, and really do relish in the thought of a cup of tea and an early night lol!

So last time I updated this I mentioned the challenges that I’ve faced since living here; now I want to tell you aaaalll about the blessings I’ve received and been a witness to! :)) Firstly, I could not talk about blessings and not mention my wonderful flatmates here at Brunel. Like I mentioned, we’re a big mix here. Coming from all sorts of socio-economic backgrounds (gotta sound intelligent, right!? haha); having completely different ways of life, and yet we’ve all bonded so well and so quickly. It does make me feel a bit weird thinking that only a month ago I had no idea who these people were!? Before I came I was super worried that finding friends and getting along with my flatmates was gonna be a big challenge. Now that I’m here I can testify that when you’re working in God’s favour, He wants to favour everything, not just bits & bobs every now and again. Apparently it’s a rarity for a whole flat to get on well with each other. I’ve heard so many people mention since being here how their flat is divided in some way or they’re just generally unhappy living in halls. I feel genuinely bad for those people; but God’s favour over me is highlighted even further when I think about that. Something else that God has totally been taking care of is my finances. Since I’ve had to start doing my own laundry, cleaning up after myself all the time, paying accommodation fees and particularly food shopping, I’ve noticed how much all this completely zaps your money away. Although I’ve never really been wholly into the frivolous spending thing, it’s weird watching your money slowly disappearing. However, where there has been a need, God has provided. Obviously at Uni there are so many primary and secondary books that you need, and I’ve been blessed in the fact that out of the blue some guy at the Christian Union generously gave me 4 of his first year English books for FREE. I’m pretty sure that collectively these books totalled to over £100. Easily.

Only 2 out of the many books I have to plough my way through!! Hence my really sad face. Boo.

God has also been stretching my food since I’ve been here!! Not something I was really expecting I’d need. Don’t judge me for the following, but there have been times where I’ve chanced eating semi-out of date food. By semi, I mean food that is on the verge of being thrown out, but there is still life in it yet! Luckily, I have not given myself salmonella or made myself ill so I’m gonna keep on doing it hahaha. My course is also going really well. Though the lack of contact hours I have is almost laughable (5.5 hours max. per week),  the reading list is intenseeee. I think just because we’re English students, lecturers automatically assume that all we do with our spare time is read? I honestly can’t comprehend how much I have to read by my next lecture. Let’s not think about it. But, in this pile of books, God has blessed me with a kind of study buddy, who is so motivating and encouraging just FYI!  

So I think I’m gonna wrap it up now peeps! I realise that a lot of my blogging has specifically been about my transition and moving to London and I’m hoping to tone that down by my next blog. I feel like God has done so much internally that it’s too much to write down and express in a way that reflects the fullness of His glory. Hopefully by next week though I’ll be going in a  new direction with my blog and trying to impart some of the knowledge and wisdom that God has imparted to me. :)

Oh and one more thing!! I want you all to have my address. :) Take note, this is definitely a hint for you to send me nice things. Haha, I’m kidding, but just incase:
Claire Winter
Flat 42, Room 4
Maria Grey Hall, Brunel University
Uxbridge, London, Middlesex
UB8 3PH

Much love to you all, and until I next blog, may God richly bless each and every one of you. :) XX

P.S. ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO1UfswSq4g :)

A week of firsts…

Helllooooo you beautiful peopleeee!!! :))) Man, I miss you all so much. So much!! I wish I could be back in Glossop/Manchester just for a few hours so I’d get to hang out with you all and have some normality. Unfortunately that’s not happening any time soon *sniff sniff*. So I want to take advantage of this party-less evening and update you all on what’s been going on in my new life in London. :) I have soooo so much to say that I don’t feel like I can condense it all into a blog, but I’m gonna try.

My new bedroom. Cosy, right?

The first thing I think you should all know is that I’m so glad I requested my trivial prayer about appreciating my room, because guys, it’s beautiful! Okay, I wouldn’t go as far as saying that. But it doesn’t have the clinical box-likeness that I thought it would. So it’s generally a thumbs up on the room situation. One thing that’s helped is the fact that I brought nearly every single photo that I’ve ever owned here with me to London. My flatmates are always commenting on how homely my room looks lol. It really does feel like a little sanctuary, thank you Jesus! Lots of other friends have told me how my halls are pretty much a Haven in comparison to theirs’. The favour of the Lord is great, right?? :) I honestly feel so blessed to be sat here right now, just typing in the quiet and not having to deal with fire alarms going off or drunken people taking over the flat with their noise. Bliss! Lol, the ironic thing about this though is that as soon as I finished typing that sentence I spent the last hour or so dealing with randoms who took over our flat eating bananas and playing with slugs? Is this really what student life is like!? Haha.

Something that I really want to talk about though are the challenges of this week. Let me tell you, there have been many. However, God has helped and guided me through & out of each one. One thing that you’ll pretty much all know about University is the big drinking/party atmosphere, especially during Freshers’ week. I found this quite difficult to begin with. Do I stay in and cut myself off from what other people are doing or do I go out and have fun?? This was a really hard thing to find a balance with at the start. God reminded me though that He wanted me to enjoy University, and that it wasn’t a crime to go to a club or a bar. So every night since I got here (bar tonight) I’ve been going out, meeting new people and generally just enjoying Freshers’ week. God wouldn’t position me in a place where I have to spend the next 3 years of my life and expect me not to have fun, right? So after I got over my freak out I’ve genuinely been having such a laugh getting to know my wonderful flatmates and spending time with them this week. Another challenge I had to face head on was to do with the Christian Union. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like you just didn’t ‘click’ with something? But it’s not a great feeling, and it put me off going to some of the events they had going on. Usually when I don’t click with something or someone I just won’t persist with it and give up straight away. God just kept prompting me to persist though, so I really had to face it head on. So tonight instead of going out I decided I was gonna go to the Christian Union social they had going on. I’ll admit, to begin with I wanted to admit defeat, sulk and walk back to my flat. Not very humble or gracious lol. But after a few hours, I got speaking to more and more people and I am genuinely glad I stuck it out now. This week has definitley been a week of firsts, and having to spend nearly 5 hours with a group of people I really don’t know was another first. One guy I was speaking to made a lot of sense about this. He said that in this new environment, it’s good to be friendly with everyone and that when it comes to making friendships we really shouldn’t be fussy about it. I don’t know whether he knew how much that spoke to me. It’s true, I am really not in a situation where I can be picky about friends. And even more so about Christian friends. That really humbled me. The majority of the people I meet here are not going to be like my friends back home, so really I should embrace the new-ness of everything and be grateful for the perfectly lovely people God has given to me. So even though I still feel like I’ve not fully clicked yet, with a lot more persistance and faith I will get there. Along with lots of grace, patience and humility lol.

University life thus far has been really great on the whole though. I’ve met soooo many people now whoI know I will be close friends with which is a really big comfort in this environment. I have literally been thrown into the deep end in everything that I’ve been doing, and it’s weird to think that only a few weeks ago my life was completely different. God has definitley been faithful in the season running up to University, and I believe He will continue to show His faithfulness in new ways for this next season.

I realise I’ve rambled on, I’m nearly hitting 1,000 words on this word count thingy lol! I really wanted to let you all know how I’m getting on though, and I really hope I’ll find the time to update you in the coming week even though I know I’m gonna be even busier. Thanks for reading this guys, miss you all and God bless! :) X

 

See you on the other side… of the country!

 

I dunno if you can read it, but what's written is actually quite sweet haha.

So, the time has arrived. It is officially the day before I leave!!! Just about. It’s actually about 2 in the morning here in little old England. And why am I blogging at this crazy time I hear you question? Because it is literally about the only time I’m gonna have to do it before I leave on Sunday morning. So so so much to do!!But, the practical side of things are going well so far. Hard to believe that what’s in those storage containers and suitcases are little pieces of my life!! Journals, books, photographs, little things people have written/drawn for me; it’s all coming. :) I cannot wait to be living in a new place, but looking through old stuff has made me a bit reluctant to leave. Most of my memories are of Manchester and the people living here, so this little realisation is not making it any easier to go lol. Luckily though, I will be joining some equally as wonderful people in London which is gonna soften the blow of leaving. :)

So surreal knowing this is soon gonna be a familar sight.

I just want to thank all of you who reading this who have been consistently supporting me physically and in prayer throughout this journey!! And what an absolute rollercoaster of a journey it’s been. I honestly look back on the past year and think about all the stuff that has happened, and think how amazing it is that God has provided for every last need. Even when I’ve just needed a chat, God has given me people who will willingly listen. And I thank Him every day for that, because it’s important to me that I have brilliant, Godly people in my life who will listen to me when I’m freaking out, being a freak, or wanting someone else to be a freak with. Yes Nathan Cadogan, that last one was for you. But seriously it’s been a pleasure, to say the least, to just love God with you guys and be in regular fellowship. Thank the Lord for Skype and Facebook, because without those my contact would be pretty limited with you guys, which would really make me not want go lol!! You’ve collectively all been a fundamental cornerstone in my life and it weirds me out a bit to think that you’re not gonna be physically around all the time for me to hang out with. But, as well as for me, I know this is a new chapter for everyone else that isn’t going anywhere and I’m excited for what God is gonna be doing in Manchester. He has great plans for every square inch of this country, and I’m looking forward to hearing all your testimonies of His glory in a few months’ time. We serve a great God, don’t we?

So beautiful!

I do have a few prayer requests! Although I am in no way, shape or form worried about the moral issues revolving around Uni life, I do think about them. Please stand by me in prayer that I would be bold and courageous and honour God before men like it says in scripture. I don’t want to become a wallflower because I’m scared about how people would react to me, but stand out because of how I react to what’s going on around me. Something else that’s important to me is the Christian Union at Brunel. I so badly want to be involved in this, and want be a great addition to this group of people. Please be with me in this prayer that God would strengthen and support this bunch of willing servants, and that I would just thrive on being apart of what I hope is a group of God-thirsty peeps. :) This one is fickle, but I so want to like my new room!! On the open day I was just not impressed, so I’m hoping for a complete change of mindset and that I would have only appreciation and gratitude for my new box-like room haha. Concerning the journey; car rides completely zap every little bit of energy out of me. Considering it’ll be a busy day, this isn’t cool. Pray for energy. :) Finally, I emotionally haven’t dealt with this transition yet and I’m apprehensive about how I’m going to react when I have to say goodbye to my Mum and Bri. A few months isn’t really a long time, but when you’re in a completely new situation, having the comfort of people you know around you always makes it easier. Oh and one more thing, just cus I know some of you like to pray as I’ll be doing things in that moment, I’ll be leaving at 8am on Sunday morning, hoping to arrive at Brunel for between 12 and 1. So that’s a good time to be praying right there haha!!

So, thank you guys, it’s been a pleasure and I love you all very much. See you from London. :) XX

 

 

For many are called, but few are chosen.

Something similar...

So, as a lot of you know, I leave for London in less than 8 days time now to embark on the beginning of the journey into the next 3 years of my life at Brunel. I am one mixed bag of emotions let me tell you! Some days you can find me having a full on freak out, nearly weeping at the thought of having to buy/register/enrol for one more thing & almost doubting whether I even want to go. Other days, I’m totally cool and ready to go where God’s taking me; verging on being excited. Today’s a mix of those two emotions. I’ve spent most of today freaking out, then letting God soothe me, then freaking out all over again. If any of you feel that burning conviction to pray for me, I’m ready and willing to receive!! Haha joking, but seriously, today has been an extremely vulnerable day. By that I mean I’m relinquishing control of myself and my future, and I’m finding it hard to swallow that reality as the time draws nearer. Even in my preparations I’m not grasping the reality of it all. If only you could see my bedroom. Taking floordrobe to a whole new meaning. Floorpool is better. Not a square inch of floor to be seen… at all. And the only things I’ve managed to pack are small anecdotal things and some books & journals. Lord have mercy!!

However, in this time of freaking out and procrastinating God has been taking me from peak to peak; revelation to revelation. I’ve been learning a lot about coming before God in a state of vulnerability, and that engaging with Him in child-like prayer is something I’ve simply got to do. When you’re a control freak like me and always want to know what’s going to happen, this is a serious challenge. When I was younger, I used to believe everything my Mum said to me. When she said something was going to be fine, I believed it even in all my worries. Not because I was gullible, but because there was a huge level of trust invested in that relationship. Trust is something most people have to work at, and this is definitely true for me and my relationship with God. I’m really having to trust, like a child trusts, that where He’s taking me (University and beyond) is where I’m going to prosper, be nourished and continue to grow. As a natural worrier, this is a hard place to be in. If you know me, you’ll know that I worry about everything. If there was a competition for worrying about ridiculous things, I’d be in with a shot of winning. You’ll probably be laughing at this, thinking “yep, typical Claire”, but like Matthew once said:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has a trouble of its own.” – Matt. 6:34

Wise words, right? :) This is the kinda motto I so wanna live by!! How great would life be if I just didn’t worry!? Right now that seems like an incomprehensible dream world to me, but definitely a place I know God desperately longs for me to be in! In this, I’ve had another sub-revelation. I’m fearful of  not being in control. A lot of the time I store up my worries, fears and anxieties only to not do anything with them, and consequently letting them dwell and get worse. But as weird as it sounds, knowing that I’m the one handling them makes me feel a little bit in control. Control can sometimes be linked to stability. If I have control over X, Y and Z, then they are stable. I often find myself giving glory to God by praying something a little like this: “God, thank you that you’re in control, because if I was in control then things would be pretty pear-shaped” When what I’m really saying is this: “God, thank you that you’re in control of some areas of my life – but I can deal with this, that and the other for now” Is that really my way of giving glory to God, really? Reflecting on how many times I must have done that makes me feel insane amounts of dweebishness. I thought it was an all or nothing kind of deal with God? Not, you can have some stuff, but I’ll keep some too thanks. We can cling on to our fears in vain hope that they will somehow disappear, but when Jesus died on the cross, so did everything that made your load heavy. In the words of Kris Vallotton (paraphrased): “We entered with a cross, and exited with a crown!” Doesn’t that make you feel incredibly blessed? I know I do!

“For many are invited, but few are chosen.” – Matt. 22:14

The fact that I am chosen alone, should bring me comfort and peace in my relationship with Jesus. That amongst my worries and fears, the greatness in me will be drawn out according to His will and purpose for me. So let’s get looking at the bigger picture together, and really set our faces on the glory we’re going to encounter. :) 

And that’s just a little tit-bit of what God has been doing in me since I last blogged. A bit rushed, and not well thought out (lol, story of my life) but I have been pulled and stretched, but by no means crushed. God is good always. :)

 

 

P.s. thank you guys for your encouraging words and supportiveness about this blog. I appreciate it more than you’ll know. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDxJbcKxdKk&feature=related - blessings in the form of Rick Pino’s amazeballs lyrics and voice and piano skillage.  

“The whole world is charged with the glory of God and I feel fire and music under my feet” – Thomas Merton

Hello you beautiful people! :) I feel all fired up to write another blog, and I’m looking forward to seeing what it’ll turn out like, because as of now I’m not too sure about everything I’m gonna write about!  I do wanna let you know about this book that I’m reading for the fourth time though! Crazy Love by Francis Chan was suggested to me (and the rest of the people at our youth camp) by the wonderful Becca Mellor last year, and though I wouldn’t say it’s the most mentally taxing and challenging book I’ve ever read; the insight and wisdom that Chan writes with gives an original take on common themes in Christianity. I have to hand it to him, he speaks the truth! Whether I’ve wanted to hear it (or read as the case may be) or not he’s definitley impacted my attitude towards certain issues I’ve had since picking it up again. I feel like the stuff he addresses in the book is really being strengthened & supported by the work that God’s been doing in me, and I feel pretty blessed for that alone. Whilst I’ve been catapulted full throttle in to the world of registering, enrolling and all things university related, God’s been taking me on a sort of crash course. My emotions are definitley taking a battering, but even with this I’ve felt so much more aware of His presence with me and inside of me.

One thing that is definitley worth mentioning is the way that God has just been thrusting me into the presence of His glory. Before I started contemplating it more, I always associated glory with things like sunsets & mountains, and the way that (to paraphrase Francis Chan) the average elm tree has approx. 6 million leaves!? I mean, that is glorious. God definitley didn’t do things by half measures when He created the Earth in Genesis. But, when I read Isaiah 6 and Revelations 4, I can’t help but see that stuff as being only teeny tiny glimpses of His glory in comparison to what’s going down in Heaven.

“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” ” – Isaiah 6:1-3

Now, I don’t know about you, but I would just about pass out if I saw God on His throne in Heaven, with 6-winged creatures flying around chanting how holy He is. Picture it for yourself. That sounds just too holy, and too sovereign for my little brain to comprehend. Which makes me think; I wonder how much my words and my thoughts contain God’s glory. God must be so much more beautiful than the connotations of that word. God must be so much greater than everything I profess to be great. He must be, because He is, and the Bible tells us that. Soaking on that thought just drives me crazy, and I hope it always does, because I never want to understand the complexity of God’s glorious nature. The moment I do, I know I have boxed Him away. R.C. Sproul puts it like this:

“Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God.”

Isn’t that just such a sobering statement? And altogether humbling too? That’s another thing God’s been teaching me about; a lesson in humility was just what I’d been missing out on for a long time. All this focus on God and His glory has just really made me think it’s foolish to think that this is all about me. Francis Chan put it really well; he uses the allegory of life being a movie in which we have about 2 fifths of a second’s screen time.

“From start to finish, this movie is obviously about God. He is the main character. How is it possible that we live as though it is about us?“

All I’m saying is, the guy’s gotta point. Since when did it become all about me, and my University plans, and what I’m going to do to benefit me with my Bachelors degree in English? Never, it’s always been about furthering His Kingdom, and it always will be. Very, very sobering. So since this revelation, I’ve felt super convicted to kinda keep tabs on my pride. You can say you’re not a proud person, but can you truely say that you’re humble? Just FYI, this isn’t meant to be preachy, this is just what’s going on in my heart right now and a little clip of what God wants me to know in this season.  I really am preaching to the choir when I’m saying all of this!

Thanks for reading this guys, and God bless! X

P.s. if you have a few minutes spare watch this YouTube video. I’ve posted it on Facebook and possibly Twitter, but it seriously does put many things into check for me personally: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ya12I036lg

Dreams get you to a place where you bypass your own thoughts…

So, although I was gonna leave it a week or so before I followed up my first blog, I’ve decided to throw that original scenario out the window and write another one less than 24 hours later. :D This has kinda come about because I had an episode of acute insomnia last night; meaning I am up at the crack of dawn a.k.a the only quiet time in this household… Great times for blogging me thinks! Aside from that though, during my crazy sleepless night, God did lay a thing or two on my heart (okay, maybe just a thing) to share with you wonderful people which I hope is of the utmost encouragement! :)

DREAMS - If you know me fairly well, you’ll know that over the past few months I’ve really gotten into dream interpretation with the occasional dabble into looking at visions too. Props must go out to Rosie Cadogan here for being kind of a mentor to me in this department – lots of wisdom imparted from this wonderful lady! Anyway, in the midst of my lack-of-sleep-related delirium last night, I started thinking about all the crazy dreams I’ve been having lately. One in particular that’s stood out is where I willingly let someone cut off a mega amount of my hair and was left feeling out of control and not excited about this… at all. Again, if you know me, you’ll know my hair is super long and kind of my pride and joy (l0l, dork) and although I often toy with the idea of getting it cut, I don’t have the guts to let anyone else near it with a pair of scissors in tow. Quite obviously this was about me relinquishing control, and giving it up to Jesus. Something I am so not good at, and still very much learning how to do. This whole road to University has meant so much about me being in the unknown, and being uncertain about which door is going to lead where; meaning that at times I’ve had little to no control over my future or current situation, leaving everything in the hands of God. Such a scary, but exciting place to be! And definitley been a learning curve to say the least… I think it’s great though how Jesus knows how tensive our thoughts can be; meaning we hear Him with a whole lot less clarity. Dreams have just been a great way for me to gain that clarity back and discover the prophecies and great things that are being spoken over my future when I’m at my least (but arguably at my most?) concious.

Weird to think that this is how He sees us; His precious children.

P.s. Did you know that there are 224 references to dreams and visions in the Bible? Pretty ridonkulous if you ask me. Did you also know that you are asleep for 1/3 of your whole, entire life? Pretty amazing to be honest.

 

I’ll leave you with this – “He opens your ears and seals your instructions; you may follow what He asks you to do and you don’t even know why.” – John Paul Jackson

He is my faithful friend..

And so, you’ve managed to find your way to, what is soon to progress itself into, a hub dedicated to commentating my life and what Jesus is doing in it! :) Kudos to you my friends :)  

I’ve had it on my heart for a long while now to start writing more about Jesus, and I’ve decided blogging is how I’m going to be more active in that :) Though there’s nothing like good times spent with ye olde pen and journal, I want you all to be a witness to the glory that God is allowing me to walk in daily, and I hope it serves its purpose as an encouragement! For the next few weeks, I’m gonna be writing alot about my journey to London and everything that entails. From the excitement, to the intense stress and anxieties, you’re all gonna hear about it when it’s fresh! Firstly though, I think it’s good to start my blogging adventures with a quick debrief of my road to University thus far…

Around October/November 2010, the dynamics of my relationship with Jesus completely changed. I felt challenged, scared and out of my comfort zone with a lot of the places He was positioning me in. One of those places being in Uxbridge, London. Through my application process to study English at University around this time, God clearly highlighted to me Brunel University; a diverse and lively university about a 20 minute train ride from central London. From then on His favour has just blown me away completely and ridiculously! I got a conditional offer within a week of applying (very rare in such a competitive year) as well as getting 4 other offers in the coming weeks from my other applications (also considerably rare). I knew this was Jesus, because my grades from the year before (BBCC) just weren’t enough to cut it in this highly competitive year. Thank you Jesus!

Fast forwarding to Summer exam season, May/June 2011, I can honestly say His grace and mercies were just absolutley abundant! Not only was this an academic learning experience, but God also taught me a thing or two about what it is to trust in His faithfulness when you are all out of ideas and strength. Rest assured, my exams went down well. The two I was most dreading and really should’ve been the most difficult (Sociology Unit 3 and 4) went the best out of any A-Level exam I have ever sat! His favour was all over those papers; everything I had studied in depth came up, and everything I had been too tired, too stressed or too lazy to go over, didn’t. Bless you Lord!

Now cutting to the chase and letting you know where I am at now. Just over a week ago was results day. Thankful to say that I passed with flying colours! By the grace of God I managed to achieve an A* in Sociology, a B in English Lit and another B in Photography - way over what I needed to get into Brunel fyi! So in 3 weeks time, I’m gonna be leaving Manchester to embark on a new life in London for the next 3 years. I’m a mixed bag of emotions to be honest, don’t know whether to be excited, scared or just numb to it all. But that’s where I’m at :) London bound and expecting to prosper!

So I guess one of the points of this first blog has been to tell you about how His favour and honour is so ridiculous I just can’t even comprehend it! When I wasn’t supposed to get into Uni by the world’s standards, I did. When sitting my Summer exams looked so bleak from the offset, they were easy. When results day was looming and I was ridiculously nervous, He put me at ease. And now when I’m worried about making good friends, finding my course too difficult and all that it means to be living by myself; I believe He has positioned me in London to be prosperous and successful and I will trust in His loyal nature no matter how I feel.

Thanks for reading this and God bless you all abundantly! x

Where I'll be spending the next 3 years of my life studying; Brunel University, West London.